Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry December 23rd and have a Funky Funky Christmas

I'm off work for 11 days starting in roughly 120 minutes. ELEVEN days boys & girls. The shitty part about my eleven days off work is that I don't feel like I need a break from work, I feel like I need a break from life. Sitting on my couch in the post-Christmas mess for eleven days (minus the time I'll spend smoking in my garage and going to the fridge for beer) is not going to make me feel relief from the shitstorm this year turned into. The break I'm looking for goes a little like this:

Moving out of my house for eleven days and checking in to a 5-star hotel where I wouldn't cook a meal, wash or fold a load of laundry, feed a cat, fight with a 13 year old, shovel a walk, fill a dishwasher, change a garbage. Where I would get my hair and make-up done daily, and massages. Probably the type that end with sexual gratification because what kind of break would it be without that? I would pair all that with renting some fancy car whose dipstick fits in the transmission and has a thumpin stereo so I could blast Adam Lambert's Fever repeatedly and then, yes, I would keep going to work. Maybe for like, three hours a day once or twice.

Now that's a break. My eleven days off is going to look nothing like that. But hey, if nothing else, I don't have to brush my teeth or my hair until 6am January 4 if I don't want to. My kid and my cat wont judge. Ok, my smart-ass kid probably would, but she'll be punished enough as I win the fights over who gets to play on the laptop that Santa is bringing her. And does this look like the face of a judging cat?
That's all I have for today, but it felt great to get something out. I've been suffering from this blogging constipation for way too long. I'm leaving you with one of my favorite Christmas songs ... that I can sing off the top of my head and do the running man to

Monday, December 13, 2010

I'm not a quitter ... I just hate 2010

And I'm impatiently waiting for it to be over. I haven't quit blogging like I've pretty much quit soccer, I just don't have any new blog material because, aside from getting ready for Christmas, I don't do a whole hell of a lot. Just wait to see what types of blogs I come up with when I finally have a working computer at home. Maybe I'll start doing product reviews, or become a TV critic. One thing that's a given project is setting up a profile on Plenty of Fish and blogging about those experiences. Or I can set up a Rub n Tug in my garage. I've been told I'm really good at hand jobs and I kinda need the money. Fun times are coming ... I can feel it. But first, this year has to end.

And even before that, I have some black berry pics for Mobile Upload Monday ... enjoy.

This appeared on my phone the other day when I took it out of the holster ... took a minute to realize what it is, but it's clearly my sisters boyfriends bald spot ...
Let's just call him Trichotillomannia Tyler.

This guy smokes outside my building. He thinks he's pretty slick with his cell phone wedged under his earmuffs. Hey ... it's a Canadian blue tooth!

My cat. Watching TV for five minutes

Let's see what she's watching .... Of course .... Bugs Bunny and Tweety

And last but not least, a discovery that Sydnerella and I made at the Antique Mall where we then chased each other around making scary growly noises.

Merry Fucking Christmas. RAWR.