Wednesday, September 3, 2014

I am definitely not a grandma!

Sydnerella started grade 12 today. GRADE. 12.
How is it possible that I have a child in grade 12 when I am only 35? Ohhh right, I was having unprotected sex at 17 with Shit for Brains ....
Even though I've been teaching Sydnerella to hate babies so she doesn't try to make one for herself, one of my biggest fears has been becoming a grandma by now. 18 years ago, right at the beginning of grade 12, my mom was going to be a grandma. I know it's a little early to celebrate because technically there is still time for her to beat me by another 2 months, but I'm pretty sure this is not the year I become a grandma. High 5. Sure she's had the same boyfriend for-like-ever, and sure I took her to the doctor for some baby-preventing pills (that we all know can fail), and ok, maybe we've allowed the occasional sleep-over between them, but Sydneralla is saving herself for marriage. Right? Right! Also, we have a deal that she isn't allowed to have babies before I'm done having babies ... And though I'm very very single, I still have about 5 years to shut my baby-making shit down and how weird would that be to have a my own baby who's younger than my grand-baby?
I don't think so ..... 

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