DAMAGE CONTROL

Silly Sally just called me in sheer terror and panic, apologizing like crazy, begging me not to be mad, she did something so bad she was scared to tell me. Finally, she calmed down enough to ask me if it was possible to delete a blog. In particular, one of MY blog posts. Or, my whole blog actually. Why the fuck would I want to delete my blog? Because someone might have caught wind of it who I didn't want to? Well ... who cares, so I swear a lot. So I talk about my sex life. Uh ... talk dirty stuff worse than even my regular sex life .... Stuff that I'd really hope people wouldn't continue reading if they weren't comfortable reading it. And if they did and were offended or judgmental, too bad. Unless it's my dad!

So if you're wondering why I'm making you jump through so many hoops to read my blog that I don't even write in much anymore, it's because my sister, Silly Sally sent our dad the link to my blog by mistake. Or maybe it wasn't really by mistake. Maybe it's because she thinks I'm his favorite and she found a way to fix that. Anyhow, I'm pretty sure I've done enough damage control that he'll never get in to read what a skank his daughter can be, but just in case, this is my last plea ... Dad, if you managed to find your way into my blog, I'm telling you, it's in your best interest if you just close the blog and pretend it doesn't exist. Seriously.

To that end, if I ever get back into this blogging that I was so happy to start two years ago, I'll clean it up. A little. Fuck and shit and all those other fun four-letter words wont be included in my little clean up. So more like a de-whoring. Maybe. We'll see.

I'm going to Disneyland

In less than 48 hours, Sydnerella & I will be on our way to Disneyland. Despite the fact that she managed to get herself suspended on the 4th day of grade 9, I am taking her to Disneyland. I don't know how many people would actually cancel a trip to Disneyland over their kids being bastards, but I booked the damn trip in April and we both really deserve this after the harsh year we just endured so I didn't cancel. Bad?! Oh well, I'm going to Disneyland, and I am FREAKING EXCITED!!

Well, excited, and mad. Leave it to me to find something that pisses me off at the Happiest Place on Earth before we even get there. But I swear to jeezus christ I am justifiably pissed off this time. April, I discovered that the pool in the hotel I booked would be under renos, so I spent a full hour on the phone with Expedia to change hotels. Whatever. Then ... THEN I discovered last week that the Pirates of the Caribbean ride will be closed for renos. Sydnerella and I are Pirates of the Caribbean fans. Huge Pirates fans. After Pirates 3, we were bummed to find out that it would be 3 years until Pirates 4 came out. Then we were even more disappointed when it finally did come out and sucked! I wear Pirates t-shirts and when I went to Sturgis in 2007, I made sure I got to make out with the biker dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow. When we were in Disneyland in 2006, Pirates was also closed for renos, but that was at the beginning of my crush on Pirates so I didn't know what I was missing. Seriously. What. The. Fuck. I literally wouldn't have even booked to go this weekend if I had this information in April. I'm pulling my kid of school for 5 days after a suspension during the first month of school for this trip. A trip that will be 99% fantastic and fabulous and magical. But not 100% now. Boo. And speaking of Boooo ... The Haunted Mansion will also be closed to prepare for Halloween time in Disneyland. In early September? Whatever! I probably can't handle haunted houses anyway judging by the way I ran screaming like a pansy in front of a bunch of laughing kids when a scarecrow jumped out at me when I walked up to a haunted house years ago, then refused to even go in. AND California Screamin, the big goddam roller coaster in California Adventure will be closed for renos as well. I am disappointed to say the least. But we're going, and regardless of missing out on what I'm sure would be my favorite ride, I really am FREAKING EXCITED. We have 3 full days to spend in the parks and about 12 hours combined to check out Downtown Disney and Anaheim Garden Walk. And of course, IHOP. Smack dab in the middle of our hotel and the gates to Disneyland. We don't have IHOP where I live, so this a big fucking deal!



Bitches and assholes!

Going to Disneyland. Going to Disneyland. Going to Disneyland. Going to Disneyland. Going to Disneyland.

how you can become a gourmet chef too

The other day, my friend sent me this pic ...

Of course, it would look better if the damn this would rotate for me, I don't have time to try again. I called her a rock star when she told me she made those cakes. She replied back "LOL". She has 3 times more kids than I do and a full time job, and still manages to keep active and stay sane without the help of alcohol or narcotics. She is far more superior than me in this area, I am a domestic retard. You saw what my poor kid ate the other night as her special end of summer meal! And for any of you that read my blog, you've probably seen other pics of cakes and cookies that I've screwed up so bad I wonder why my kid hasn't applied for emancipation.

Well .... let me show you what I did last night. Made us a gourmet meal that turned out fantastic. Beef tortellini with a rose sauce, asparagus, and garlic parmesan cheese toast. GOURMET. Look at this plate of yumminess ...

I am a rock star.

Thank you Olivieri. From my belly and the bottom of my heart.

Breathing a sigh of relief ... School started today

On my first day of grade 9, I wore a pair of black (knock-off because we were poor folk) doc marten boots, tall green socks, and a black long sleeved dress. Today is Sydnerella's first day of grade 9. She's wearing a pair of black Doc Marten boots, striped tall socks, a black skirt, and a band t-shirt. Cannibal Corpse? The only differences between us on this day in both our lives are a few inches (in height and bust - to her benefit, not mine), black eye-liner, and eye-brow threading.

Today couldn't have come sooner. Not that I want my baby to continue to age at these speeds, but having a 14 year old daughter unsupervised while I worked all summer was the cause of many near panic attacks, lost sleep, sneaking out of the office early to get home, getting to work late because I had to stay up late to listen for the doors opening, and just a general feeling of uneasiness. Not that I don't trust my own kid, but I kinda don't. A little bit, but not entirely. It's not just her, it's all of them. The agendas of  kids that age are on a totally different page than ours ... hell, in a whole other book!

Today, right now, I am at ease.

The weekend before school starts is always a busy one. For nine years now, they've pretty much been the same. We do our last minute clothes and supplies shopping, grocery shopping for breakfasts, recess snacks, and lunches, house cleaning for a fresh start, tons of laundry, one last mother-daughter outing, a good dinner the night before school starts, and quite a bit of fighting. This year was no different. Actually, it was a little different. Ok, completely different. I took Thursday and Friday off work, so we did her shopping Thursday. No fights. I haven't been grocery shopping, I did get some laundry done ...

We did make it out of town on Saturday - lunch in Banff - and that's really about it. No fights. No hair cut. And dinner was nothing special. Literally ....

In my defense, Sydnerella chose this and I gave her the option of any restaurant she wanted. I swear it. And I was cravin' Asian, so this was my dinner ....

And it turned out pretty good for $6.99 at Safeway.

So Sydnerella has one more year in junior high and I can't say I wont be on edge until end of June. Praying that just because she dresses like I did, she wont get into the same shit that I did. Praying HARD that my little Athiest doesn't turn my hair white.