Wednesday, February 16, 2011

oh. shit.

Playing with Rachel and Mr Daddy today ... I have an older story I forgot to add the past few Tuesdays, but this story came up last night at soccer (don't ask) that reminded me to link up today ... So here it is ...

When I study for exams at home, I tend to just hold my binder and pen on my lap while sitting on the couch watching TV. With my midterm being tomorrow, I'm at the office late today so I can get some hard core studying done. At my desk. Without distractions. That's part A of today's story. Part B takes a little longer to explain and has to do with my routine for pooping at work. For the full story, click HERE. If you don't have time, I'll put it simple. I am anal when it comes to doing the deed. Pun absolutely intended. I am superwoman and am able to hold it until I can manage my way to a comfortable time and place. Often, this time is about 5pm before I leave the office for class or when I am staying late. Like today. I waited until 5pm as usual to head into the washroom because of the 60 people that work on this floor, a majority are women and up until 5pm, there are sometimes line ups to get into one of the four stalls. If someone is in there, I'll leave, walk around the floor, then head back in. Serious. Today, the floor was exceptionally quiet, so when I walked passed the counter and grabbed the air freshener on my way to the end stall, I figured I'd be comfortably alone while I played Klondike on my blackberry and performed my duties. And if not, it doesn't matter anymore. I am still comfortable with my routine. Poop. Flush. Spray. After today however, I will be reconsidering that order of events. Another part of importance to my story is that I spray under the door as opposed to upwards because the freshener just settles back into my stall, all over my legs and blackberry, which I do not enjoy. Also, I am a considerate pooper and want the entire washroom to stink pretty. My sequence of events failed me today as I sprayed. A second after I flushed. Right at the loudest moment of the flushing water. Compromising my ability to hear someone enter the washroom .... everything happened so fast. What I distinctly remember is seeing the legs of the person walk right through my misting stream of air freshener. And what they would have seen was a hand sticking out from under the stall holding and spraying a can of air freshener. There was a pause and a misstep, then some breathing very distinctly with a plugged nose. She peed, wiped, and washed faster than any other woman I've known as I sat in the stall mortified, laughing in my head, hurrying to my blackberry messenger to tell Silly Sally the story. When the bathroom was empty, I let 'er rip ... Laughing. Not the other. And I stayed in the washroom a lot longer than I normally do and exited through the opposite door that poor soul had used. At least she will smell nice during her commute home I suppose. And now, I have to add another 30 minutes on to my studying since I asbolutely had to take a break to tell this story.


  1. Bwhahahahaha. There's a lot to be said for routine. I kinda blame the woman for messing w/it. :)

  2. LMAO... A Considerate Pooper... That would be a GREAT name for a novel, I'm thinking.. :oD


  3. OH MY GOSH that is STINKING hilarious!

    I am dying over here! I did not see that coming at all - and am totally picturing the scene and cracking up all over again!