my grass is greener

The grass is always greener on the other side?

I spent the weekend at a cabin on a lake with T-Bone and three couples. Silly Sally and her probably soon to be fiance, my bff and her husband, another close friend and her husband. Both husbands who will not allow their wives, MY FRIENDS since before they were their wives, spend weekends away with me alone. Why? Because Single Stacy makes them uncomfortable. Because Single Stacy can coerce their wives into three-ways and orgies and all sorts of lying and cheating. Even though ... even though one of the couples has 4 affairs under their belts between the two of them, NONE if which I arranged, took part in, condoned, encouraged, or anything of the sort. Ahem. The Couples Retreat was arranged after a casual comment that we should have a girls night at this cabin that was quickly shot down by the two married women, while the two single women secretly prayed that we'd be going solo. No such luck. Good thing I like the two husbands, my probably soon to be brother in law, and T-Bone. So the four of us ditched all the children we have between us, loaded our vehicles with Albertan beer because BC charges PST, and drove out to a cabin that sits a block from a lake and has baby deer living under the wrap around deck. Ahhh summer. There was some obvious differences between the marrieds and the singles, but all put together in one house for 60 hours, the eight of us had a fantastic, sunburned, exhausting, well fed weekend. And I walked away secretly wishing that I was one of the marrieds, at the same time though, grateful I'm not. {Side note, I already refrained from inviting the spouse from one friend because his anti-Stacy bullshit was taken too far awhile back and he's on my shit list ... the rest of them should beware!} If any of you are reading this, you know I'm joking. If you're not reading this, then I'm totally not. Ha. I'm really not out to build an army of single people for me to hang with just because I don't have a husband. I've made shitty decisions that have landed me in shitty relationships that have led me to bouts of singledom. What-the-fuck-ever. Yes, being single has its advantages (1. This is MY remote, bitch. 2. Make your own damn sandwich. And 3. I technically can date/kiss/boink whoever I want), but it has its disadvantages too, and one of them is not being trusted by your married friends spouses. And because I don't have a husband or a full time boyfriend, but I do have a lawn full of goddam weeds, I was swindled by a door to door sales person into allowing them to spray weed killer on my lawn in exchange for $200. So yes, in more ways than one, my grass is pretty fucking green. But I pay for it. Out of my own damn pocket. 

 Bambi #1 and Bambi #2

Son of a bitch, where's the aloe?