Speaking of shit .... I just want five minutes to myself in the washroom at work, just 5 minutes, is that too much to ask?
So, I started writing posts a while back in pink, with a label on them "chubby busting" because I was going to get thin dammit. That was March 25, today is September 21 (see how far behind I am in actually hitting "publish"?). I typed up just 4 chubby busting posts, haven't lost a farkin pound, and have seriously considered posting this on kijiji ... evil bitch
I decided it might be time a few weeks ago when I caught myself walking around the love seat with a jacket in hand, fully intending on putting it on the handle ... just like it used to sit in my old house .... as a coat rack. Also, since I've been on my couch the better part of the last
28 36 days, I decided that I needed a change in scenery. Not like, needed to go far from my couch or anything crazy like that ... I mean I needed to change my living room around. Which I did, and now there is certainly no room for that stupid elliptical trainer. Actually, the real reason the living room needed to be switched up was because the cushions were flattening & wearing out on one end on the couch and I was sportin a new cow-lick from where my head's been laying for extended periods of time. Got a little worried there that I might get a bald spot similar to the ones that babies get before they learn how to roll over. And since I changed the living room around, not only are my couch cushions and hair getting evened out, I was able to clearly see and admit to myself that I will never get on that elliptical trainer ever again. That was an insightful and productive day. Or maybe not so much because I started typing this up last week and haven't decided yet if the elliptical is really getting the boot or if I was just having a moment .... However, I am terrified of answering the door one day to the producers of Hoarders: Buried Alive with Sydnerella beside them crying about how she wants her momma and her home back. And even though I have been on my couch most of my free time since T-Bone isn't taking it up anymore, when I'm feeling particularly useless and antsy, I figure doing even one new thing will take my mind elsewhere. A little bit of shopping (or like last night ... a whole lotta shopping) for new, bigger sized clothes since chubby busting has failed, and making the rooms in my house a little easier to be in. I even made enough changes in my bedroom recently that I've finally been able to sleep in my bed .... not yet able to move T-Bone's housecoat off his side of the bed still, but I'm workin on it. I also should report that my car no longer looks like this ...
But like this ... thanks Cuz ...
In addition, I also started my course at the university (where I was outted as an expert in my department because I really should have taken these courses years ago), have managed my way through
two three cases of beer by myself in a few weeks, have visited with people from my past since Jackie's funeral because life is too damn short to keep your friends at a distance, bought frames for some rubber-ducky pics that Sydnerella wants to hang (that are still sitting on the kitchen table from about a week ago), tried to change an LED light in my kitchen causing it to break, which brought me to Rona not once but twice because I keep picturing in my mind what it will take to fix the damn thing, and without the help of anyone, I swear to christ I'll fix that fucking light. And my lawn has even been mowed ... by my faux-husband of course, who has also since left me .... I'm not sure how much of this crappy, blah, mindless down time I am alloted, but I do see quite a bit more in my future ... here n there. Over-all, I'm not doing that bad. Even when my mind lands on Jackie. I have such happy and hilarious memories of her, it's easy to smile on the outside when I think of her. I should also add, that over time, I may randomly delete some of these blogs depending how pitiful they end up sounding. And of course will delete them if T-Bone magically cures himself from his bullshit and we end up back together. I will not, however, delete them if we just start sleeping together again. Which I would not be opposed to because I really don't care for this dry spell, regardless of the circumstances. And regardless of discovering my InfraTech Pro Body Massager long forgotten in a moving box.
(Sept 28 update) - Judgey Judgersons, hit the little X in the corner of the screen now!!
And speaking of sleeping with T-Bone, he seduced me Sunday. And I let him. I know I probably shouldn't have been at his house to begin with, just like I probably shouldn't have been with him a few days before, but I really really didn't think we'd end up doing the nasty in his living room while we drank coffee, smoked cigarettes, and watched the Crazies. I didn't expect it sooo much so that my legs were soft and fluffy with three weeks of growth ladies n gentlemen and I haven't seen my bush-whacker in .... uh, a really long time. We totally did it 80's style. Twice. And it really wasn't so much a seduction as it was ... "come lay here so I can reach your boobs". 15 minutes later I was back in my car driving home, with a pretty big smile, feeling pretty damn satisfied. And I don't even care. I don't regret it, I'm not making excuses for it, I'm not ashamed (sawwy Silly Sally - I LIED!). It was fanfuckingtastic. Both times. What of it?