Monday, April 11, 2011

more of 'my kid makes me laugh'

When people hear Sydnerella call me "Mom" in public, we are noticed. She is 5'5", 2 inches taller than me. She has beautiful striking features. Also, she looks 16 years old and I look about 25 (until you come really close and see the wrinkles that are starting to form). The looks are of confusion. If she had any resemblence to me, maybe they'd believe we are sisters, but there's nothing. She is her fathers daughter. And not just physically. We can both look up at the same clear blue sky and when I say "wow, it's clear", she'll say, "It's pretty cloudy". Her dad believed he had light brown hair. It was actually as dark brown as hair gets before black. His eye sight was fine, he just liked the argument. It was never even about being right. If I had pointed out his hair was light brown first, then he'd say it was in fact dark brown. I want to punch him in the throat much more than I've ever wanted to punch my kid in the throat (like you haven't ...). I'm thrilled that my kid has many of his (good) features and it's a riot living with her and her sense of humour. She's quick and sarcastic and doesn't miss a damn thing (that's not a good thing often actually). Her logic and reasoning is creative. When I recently mentioned I have a friend who lives in Kentucky, she was impressed that I had a friend from the Eurpean country of Turkey. Kentucky Fried Turkey? See ... creative reasoning. A few weeks ago, just as I was about to pop a blue skittle in my mouth, she grabbed it from me. Viciously. Said she loves the blue skittles. She was sitting in the car laughing at me for pouting over my stolen skittle (she's mean too) when I hit a bump in the road and the skittle flew from her hand. Now who's laughing?? I was happy, she was sad. Since she found the skittle in the car a few days later, she is and always will be the clear winner of the skittle battle. As she is in most battles (I know, I know ... I over-compensate for picking a shitty father for her). And did I mention she's mean? I came down the stairs with a little bag of treats that I found in my carry-on bag while pulling out my passport. I hadn't used the bag in 6 months since my last trip. "Geeze mom, hiding snacks in your room now???" My explanation was never heard over her laughter and judgement and she brings it up often. At inappropriate times. That her mom hides food in her room. But everytime she tries to make me look like an ass, I bring up the time she told me that there IS a country that starts with a W. Winnipeg!