Tuesday, June 15, 2010

ahhh, The performance review!

I can't help but feel uncomfortable when the human resources lady is roaming our floor, even more so when she's in my supervisors office with the door closed. It's bad enough knowing she's in the building preparing to chop the head off someone in accounting at all, but if she's in a meeting with your supervisor, you know there's a 1 in 12 chance that it's your head being chopped off. So, I do what any responsible employee should do .... Clear my temp internet files and history. Delete all personal e-mails and empty deleted items folder. Move all personal items from the M drive to a disc that's kept in my purse. At our company, when you're brought in to that meeting, you're escorted back to your office to get your purse, where you leave your key card and head, and are asked to leave the building. It would make sense that those that dread performance reviews at work are those that are shitty at their jobs and know it. Or maybe in this economy, they are great employees who are very good at what they do, they just happen to work for a struggling company. Regardless, I always wonder why people are surprised when they are let go. As uncomfortable as house cleaning is at my company, in the back of my mind, I know I am safe. And this is where my secret crush on performance reviews comes in. I take them as an opportunity to blow smoke up my own ass. Not ass kiss. Don't get the two confused. I'm confident enough to know I don't kiss-ass, and NO, doing under the table shooters with the boss at company functions is NOT ass-kissing. Grab the bosses boss and pour him a double .... well that's just networking. I get along well with everyone I've ever worked with. Not saying I like everyone and everyone likes me, it's just good business skills to know how to not like someone in the office properly. I take full responsibility for mistakes that I make and figure out ways to fix them. I don't ask too many questions unless I've scoured the company for the answers on my own and I take chances. I am getting further education and taking tomorrow morning off work because I plan on drinking at the Tom Petty concert and will probably be out late. I was honest about that fact in my review and it was well received. Honesty IS the best policy. And everybody knows you're useless if you come into work hung-over. That makes me efficient and companies like efficient people. All joking aside, I'm blogging this today just to state the facts (and because I am on lunch and I'm bored) .... I love my job and I love the company that I work for. It's not perfect, but I take the imperfections that directly affect me and turn them into projects. I graduated from high school, though never went to college, and am extremely proud of how far I've come in my industry after starting out as a receptionist who'd never used a computer. Call me a sinner if you want ... I never really understood how Pride could be a sin anyway, but whatever .... I ended my performance review talking about parenting and crappy weather we can see heading in from our 40th floor view. It was, as always, a good review. I almost feel like buying my supervisor a coffee when I head out for lunch ... but that would be kiss-ass. I'll just wait for our annual Stampede party and feed her shooters.


  1. So were you writing this up as HR was wandering your floor? That would be hilarious.

  2. Lol I wish I knew that I was safe at work. With the company I work for you never know from day to day if you are safe or not.

  3. Performance Review... ack!!

    I received the 'Outstanding Professor Award' for the College of Business here at Alluvial Flood Plain State last year... I always rank high on my student and peer evaluations...

    ... and I'm looking at possibly being let go due to budget issues...



  4. HRD is a over rated department...

    much like upper management.

    push paper, run around making useless decisions to justify their own existence....


    if you have a half hour or so I will tell you how I really feel....LOL