Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I'm gonna have to mow my own yard aren't I?

I'm doing this all wrong - this parenting slash living thing. I've been a single working mom pretty much since I was a teenager and I've had enough time to get the hang of this, or so I think. And I should really be playing the role. Picture Miranda in Sex and the City .. only a bigger booty and longer hair. I should be living closer to downtown in a condo that requires only HOA fees to have a nice yard, not my time and energy, with a shared pool (with a pool boy?) and weight room , under-ground parking, and a nanny / house keeper. Hell, this is my blog ... let's throw a cook and a personal trainer in there too. But that's not my life. I'm living two blocks from a Sikh temple, on a street where toddlers run amuck screaming outside my door. Where I have a beautiful house on a large yard that I have to mow, complete with tulips, dandelions, and ant hills. In a nicely renovated 10 year old house that I'm trying to give my personal touch to since it's my quarter of a million dollars plus that I agreed to pay the bank over the rest of my ever-lovin life to live in. And I sit in the middle of my living room, on my favorite item in the whole wide world - my couch - watching my second favorite item in the world - my TV - thinking about all the things I'd like to change, staring at the easter baskets in the middle of the floor, at my elliptical trainer in the bay window, with my little shit box car that I can't fix sitting in my garage with the molding walls wishing that I either had a useful and handy husband that I liked enough to have a few more kids with to justify this lifestyle that I've been trying to integrate myself into or enough money (or motivation I guess) to find comfort in what I am. A single mom. A working mom. And yes, even a soccer mom. Almost 31 years old with an almost teenage girl. Living in the suburbs. Completely out of my element and in way over my head. Circumstance led me to where I am today, and although it's not a bad place by any means, sometimes I just feel like it's not my place. If I knew then what I knew now ... let me tell ya ... things would be a whole lot different. Maybe not better, probably not worse, just different.


  1. Different isn't all that honey...I promise! Most husbands don't do what needs to be done, even after asking nicely, begging politely, BITCHING profusely...nothing works. So, don't get your hopes up that having a hubby around would make things different or better or worse...LOL

  2. You aren't missing anything by not being married. It is more work than it is worth and my husband never does a damn thing to help me!

  3. seriously...I FEEL you...oh how different my life would be...but it is what it is...we are making the best of it :)

  4. Hmmm,... grass needs cutting? buy a goat... he will keep it neatly trimmed... ;o)

    Tulips? I LOVE tulips...


  5. Should a guy, that is a husband post a comment here???? LOL

    at least I mow the lawn...ROFL I have a little problem keeping up with the garbage though.....*snicker*

    "Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets."
    Arthur Miller

    and maybe there is some truth to what Arthur says....

  6. I'm giggling while I type this but one of the things my daddy always told me growing up when I would talk about what I wished I could have/do was that "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it." Sorry, if I lived closer I would totally mow the lawn for your --- I L.O.V.E. when the boyfriend brings his riding lawnmower over and I get to mow!