Tuesday, May 11, 2010

let's try this again

I was reunited with an old buddy last night. What I used to call my coat rack but is actually this ....

I bought this several years back when my company started giving us fitness allowances. Jeeze, nothing like telling a group of people they are too fat work here .... Anyway, I had a nice little corner in the living room of my last rental that just so happened to be at the front door. Because the only three times I ever got on the damn thing, the fucker tried to kill me, I decided it worked really well as a coat rack. And I am sooo not kidding about that. I'm scouring all my photo files to find a pic in the living room to attach. About two years ago, I was a little hard up for cash on Silly Sally's birthday, so I gave her my elliptical trainer. Not because she's a fat-ass and I was trying to tell her something (really, she's about 100 pounds soaking wet), but she's really into staying fit and I knew she'd use the machine for more than a coat rack. Well she didn't. Shortly after I gave it to her, she moved into an apartment where it wouldn't fit and it's been sitting in her storage room ever since. All lonely and shit. And I've fallen off the chubby busting wagon a-fucking-gain - eating chips, and wings, and chips, and fries, and carbs, and wings, and McDonalds, and feeling all disgusting. And am now on an all out panic because I HAVE to lose weight before summer but I've lost all motivation to work as hard as I know I can. I don't want to go to the gym 5 days a week and I don't want to give up the second serving of foods that I love. But I also don't want to be this dumpy anymore either. It's not me ... I supposed I'll have to come to terms with never being under 1?0lbs again. And if I can get to 1?0, I'll try to be happy. But I can't sit here, pushing 1?0lbs anymore. Not on my 5 foot, 3 inch tall frame. I can touch my pinky to my thumb around my wrists and can almost put my hand around my ankles for krissakes. My bras are 34" around, I am a tiny person up top and am supposed to be tiny all over. It does not look good that I carry 100+ pounds directly around my mid-section. My ass ok because seriously, I dig my own ass, but not my big fat fucking belly. If I didn't have such a fear of shitting at work, I'd sooo be on those weight loss pills that give you the runs and you poop grease. I'm trying this again ... 30 minutes a night on the elliptical trainer. And I wont even try to fool myself again by putting the damn thing in the basement thinking I'll use it everyday down there. I wont. There's no TV or anything in the basement and I fucking love my TV. My big-ass flat screen TV with 150 channels. So, the elliptical is back in a corner of my new living room. Right at the front door again. But this time, it's facing away from the door where I know I wont be so inclined to walk around it to hang my jackets on the handles.


  1. So much to say..
    #1- you called me famous.. i want to smother you with hugs.. I'm famous in my head only, sadly.Bitches just need to realize.. LOL! No really, I wish, and thanks for making my night!!
    #2- OMG. I was just thinking the other day, as I put my pinky & thumb around my wrist, how when I was younger I'd tell myself something or other bad things would happen if I ever couldnt =X
    I just ate a box of fruit roll ups today.. they're gluten free, and uh, low fat.. technically.. I cant stop!! LOL! I fell off the work out train a wehhiilllee ago & when I get back on, I fall off again! I just pulled our elliptical out a month ago..it was a coat rack as well! Keep posting how awesome your doing so I can motivate myself!!

  2. What is this term "workout" that you keep talking about???