Friday, January 22, 2010

Dear Muffin Top

Sweet Sweet Friday. A cold day again here in Calgary. Waiting for the snow. Great excuse for not getting the pumpkins off my back deck and into the garbage yet again .. sigh. I've been linking up over at Foursons blog on Fridays for Letters of Intent. Head over there to read more letters when you're done here ... or if you are just sick of looking at my muffin top ... ok, that's not really my muffin top, but it could be my muffin top twin

Letters of Intent

Dear Muffin Top,

Peek a boo, I see you! And so does every other damn person in the world. You can go away anytime now, I shouldn't have to force you to leave (by eating better or doing some sit ups or something equally crazy). Just leave ... bu-bye now.

Dear stretchy jeans,

I heart you. Although you don't cover above mentioned muffin top, at least you are comfortable around the ol spare tire. I have a question though ... Why do you shrink in length as muffin top increases in size? The length of my legs should have nothing to do with the width of my muffin. Just sayin ...

Dear Good Life Fitness,

Look at you! Making all that money off me without having to do any work? I must be your favorite type of member? Actually, you're probably laughing at me too, behind my big arse. Admit it. You released me of my contract and I STILL pay you. You heart me don't you? Don't worry, I'm on my way! Not like ... soon. But eventually. When I'm ready ... I'll be there. As soon as the New Years Resolution crowd gives up and goes home, I'll fill in.

Dear oven baked french fries,

For better or worse. In sickness and in health. Til death do us part. Don't you worry your tastey little self, I'll be there til the end. We're a team and we're in this together.

Dear Blog Readers,

If you want to know how this happened to me (because it DID "happen" to me) and if you have a little more time to kill, read the story of how muffin tops start.


  1. I hope my muffin top listens and leaves, too!

  2. I was just thinking about how much I freakin' hate my muffin top and why pants don't just cover it better! Maybe a traveling plastic surgeon will come to my house with a babysitter who will watch my kids while he does some lipo on me for free...

  3. Great letter, I scared Itty Bit laughing while I read your post...

    It seems your malady isn't gender specific...We (the guy's) just call it a beer belly...which would make it a pretty good excuse if I just drank beer..ROFL

  4. I say all our muffin tops leave and go have a muffin top party somewhere. I HATE mine, but it ain't getting better anytime soon. I have a 4th child to pop out and by then my muffin top will be deflated... just flabby skin which will surely hang down to my knees. Lovely.

  5. I love stretchy jeans but I totally blame them for my muffin top!

  6. I am going to try that with my muffin top. I will let you know how it works!

  7. Oh my gosh, this cracked me up. This sentence: "I shouldn't have to force you to leave (by eating better or doing some sit ups or something equally crazy). Just leave ... bu-bye now." Bawahahahahaha! Love it!

    And I too have wondered why my pants get shorter when my muffin top grows. What is up with that? Crazy I tell ya'.

    So glad you are waiting for all of the New Year's resolution people to give up on their gym time for you to go work out. Very smart- you wouldn't want to waste time waiting for a treadmill.

    Thanks for linking up and thanks for the laughs!