Tuesday, March 9, 2010

How I met my baby-daddy's new woman

Have you ever had a dream where you're running to get somewhere in time, but you just can't run. You're trying with all your might, not only going as fast as a slow walk? I have dreams where this is happening often. I'm usually trying to get to Sydnerella, but they are never really nightmares ... just bad dreams. I had another sometime this past week that made me think of this story, although I can't recall the details. But the story, I figured, was worth a blog. It's about my baby-daddy and how I met his new girlfriend. Those of you that know me, will remember this story, those that don't ... well that's why I decided to link up with Rachel & Mr Daddy over at Once Upon a Miracle for TST ...




So I kicked Time Wasted to the curb sometime in 2005. Not totally though. He was still on the side of the road, pretty much just in the gutter waiting for me to put him out of his misery. The break-up was long & ridiculous, just like our relationship. It took almost a year from the minute I knew we were done until it was actually done. I literally had to put him on a plane from Calgary and send him to Arizona to be sure that it was actually over. I had my rebound immediately. And a few weeks later, he had his. *Breathe a sigh of relief*. Five months later, he was homesick and made his round-a-bout way back home ... with his rebound in tow! I was already done with my rebound, and was probably already on #3 when Time Wasted came back to Calgary with his (good thing for me that nobody ever told him rebounds have expiration dates). He stayed with his mom for a while until he got on his feet (like he had ever been on his feet), then he rented a basement suite with his rebound close to my neighbourhood to be close to Sydnerella, which lasted all of 1 months rent. His rebound, lets call her Lightnin Rod for the purpose of this story (and again, those who know me probably know where this is going ...), had come to our country with the new love of her life with very little knowledge of what he was just getting out of ... a 12 year relationship with a fabulous, full-bottomed girl name ME, and even less knowledge of the feelings he still had for me. Time Wasted called me often, late hours of the night, whispering drunken & hopefull sweet nothings into the phone while he hid in a closet with Lightning Rod pounding on the door. I always did him the favour of hanging up first. One day, when Time Wasted was settled into his little basement suite, I got a call from him that was surprisingly civil, not his usual drunken booty-call attempt. He was asking if I would like to see his new place before Sydnerella spent a weekend with him. I agreed, and after work, I went to pick him up. He jumped in the car and I drove away. 20 minutes later in rush hour traffic, he was showing me around his place. We sat in the kitchen to have a quick visit before I left for home. No funny business, I swear it on my oven-baked french fries. All of sudden, there was a banging from upstairs, then a crashing down the stairs, growling, grunting, whatever the awful noises were, then a wooshing sound as I was then face to face with a tall Navajo girl who I could only imagine was my baby-daddy's new girl friend! It all came to me so quickly ... when Time Wasted jumped in my car, he was literally running away from Ol' Lightning Rod ... and boy did she run. 4 miles! In 20 minutes! In a city that was unfamiliar to her! She even crossed 1 highway and major overpass! That woman could only have been hurdling cars and busting through fences, leaping up on light posts and swinging across major intersections. And the scary part of the situation was that she didn't even look sweaty or out of breath. I was almost in awe. I broke first, looked away, towards Time Wasted ... who was on the run again ... And I decided that was my chance to make my exit.

We met not too long after that on better terms, where Time Wasted wasn't running for the nearest exit and her episode, or her amazing flying capabilities was never brought up. Although not too long after that, when I was killing myself laughing about it again to Time Wasted, he said she was a runner ... Oh yes, she was!




9 comments:

  1. isn't meeting the new gf always SO fun!!

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  2. Oh my! Dont know if the story or the names are funnier - What a great way to recall the situation.

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  3. Ahahahaha!!!! What a great story to start my day! That was AWESOME...it way outdoes any "meet the girlfriend" stories that I have!

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  4. This could certainly can be in my next weeks OH MY monday because I said OH my like 6 times...lol too funny

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  5. TOO Funny! Thanks for stopping by my blog and as for pictures...I really did not have any of the pole dance (cameras not allowed where gambling takes place, and I don't have one on my phone)....and when the stick pony took place my camera was on the table and NO ONE thought to take a pic! ....and the truth be known, later in life, I might have to claim this really did not take place and of course, there will no pics to back it up!! LOL

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  6. Hahaha- that is hilarious. I too would have been impressed with her athletic abilities.

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  7. LOL! That is funny. I too was giggling at the 'names' of these individuals.

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  8. That is unbelievable! I would be terrified of someone that could space warp like that!

    Hope things are far, far better now?

    Thanks for linking up - love your style!

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  9. That is too funny! I am dying over the designated names! :D

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