Thursday, March 25, 2010

chubby busting

Well now I've gone and done it! I am 4 pounds away from the weight I was at the end of my pregnancy. Yikes doesn't even begin to emphasize how I feel about this. And so begins the mission. The choice has been taken out of my hands. I'm outta control. I blogged twice about this, or maybe more, but it was back in September when I realized that I was on a bumpy road straight to fatness, see here if you want, and maybe even here if you're really bored, and just to let you know how bad it's gotten, the fat pants I'm talking about there hurt my belly now. So I start today (Tuesday really because that's when I started this blog post). Already a visit to the gym behind me and my chips are all in the garbage. Let me repeat that ... MY CHIPS ARE ALL IN THE GARBAGE!

I was going to start an entire new blog for this because I figured not everyone who reads me will be interested in these blog posts, and because I will be posting my real weight, and possibly real pics of my big fat gut, which I'm still not sure I want on here. But ya know what? Too bad. I chose the URL for a reason ... stacyinprogress, and dammit, this will be my progress. I'll also add the label "chubby busting" to all weight loss related blogs and format them a little different. So for anyone that isn't interested can just skip it. Also, I'm not looking for negative comments from those who are heavier than me, either by a little or a lot who think I'm not overweight just because I'm not 300lbs. Or even 175. This is my battle and my blog. And I'm sitting at a weight that I am not comfortable with. With a belly that is bigger than all the pregnant womens bellies in my office - even the ones that are close to popping. And to be fair, I'm also not looking for comments for anyone 90lbs soaking wet who's never ripped the ass out of a pair of jeans just by putting them on telling me that I should do this, and shouldn't do that. I know exactly what I have to do, exactly what I should do, exactly what I wont do. Which I guarantee is going to cause some eye rolling or head shakes at the very least (because I haven't yet decided to cut too many calories out of my diet). So I suppose, in saying that, please comment all you want, when I am grumpy & bitter over my lack of potato chips, I will need someone to get pissy at

Todays weight: A lot. Goal weight: um, I really don't give a shit what the scales say, I'd just like to get to a weight where maternity clothes don't seem like such a fantastic idea. See my chub is not distributed evenly at all this time ... not my first rodeo ladies and gentlemen ... only this time, for some odd reason, all 3000lbs of fat is sitting in my fucking belly .... and No, there are no babies in it. I already checked.

Here's a little funny reading for ya that I was e-mailed yesterday, nice & fitting:


You've heard about people who have been abducted and had
their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years
ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs.
It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of
cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to
mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.
Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my
life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they
took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had
stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least
three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to
give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One
morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the
flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of
the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was
being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to
me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with
a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the
world wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons
are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and
me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted',
look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere
every night.


P.S.: Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was
lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of
bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in
my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my

P.P.S.: Those same thieves come in my closet and shrink my
clothes! How do they do it???


  1. That is some funny shit right there! Not your predicament but that warning to women. I swear I just peed my pants laughing at that but now I'm really in trouble because I'm wearing my only pair of comfortable work pants. Great.

    Good luck with your mission. I was working out 6 days a week until I got sick from those stupid shrimp and haven't been back to the gym in almost 5 weeks. Yeah, I probably should do something about that since I'm still paying for it!

  2. I too got back to the weight I was when I went into labor. Not acceptable. I've been working on it for 2 weeks now and have lost 3 lbs. I wish it would drop off like on The Biggest Loser, but I'm not going to exercise 8 hours a day. No way, no how.

  3. Good for you!!!!! I need to do the same thing in my life and get back to the gym but I am not ready yet. Maybe you will get me motivated to go.

  4. You think that's bad? Some one keeps breaking into my locker at work at replacing my uniform pants with ones with a smaller waist size. At least I think that's what's going on...I couldn't be getting bigger, could I?


  5. that warning CRACKED ME UP!!!

    good luck with your journey!! I am totally "off the wagon" right now...sigh :(

  6. I was about to join a gym when I broke my foot. I was about to start walking with my daughter when I broke my foot A-fucking-GAIN, so I'll most likely be the FATTEST mom floatin the river with my bitches, but y'all love me and strangers can close their eyes and make fun of my fat ass all they want. so there...HA

  7. i say avoid the scale. it helped me a lot. i concentrated on the numbers too much. i hid the darn thing and just concentrated on feeling good. I was surprised that i lost weight a whole lot quicker.

  8. I am 205 and 5'3" so trust me when I say I understand. I hope you are successful. I would try with you but I have to maintain my weight because we are trying to get pregnant again. I can't gain because I had bad pre-eclampsia last time. *sigh*

  9. You go girl. Getting healthier is gonna be worth it. (I am totally off the wagon right now - and hoping better weather means I'll be doing more. Heck no... I'll still be inside blogging my pale little butt off... ;)

    And thanks for the warning. The turds already swapped out my thighs and my butt. I'm ready for them if they come for my boobs... (yes, already hiding them in my armpits thankyouverymuch).

    Sorry again for the hub's comment about your post title. I have to admit, that's the first thing I thought of too when he mentioned it. He actually MENTIONED it to me before I read it - tells you how funny he thought it was. Does that make me a bad person? hee hee

  10. sounds like you could organize you own little club???

    C.H.U.B.B.Y PATROL it would mean so many things to so many different people.....ROFL

    I wasn't going to comment here but seeings as my lovely wife has SO outed me, I might as well LOL