Thursday, April 29, 2010

farkin winter

Winter Storm Warning : City of Calgary

Not a great way to wake up in the morning. Seriously, we've had enough! We're done! Winter is exhausting. And it's April mo-fo! Whoever built that little fort in Calgary way back when sure was a funny little fucker. We were took. I want my money back. I just want to be dry and warm.

Here's some snippets from todays news just to give you an idea of the bullshit that is my reality from September to May ...

"Snow and local blowing snow. Amount 5 to 10 cm. Wind north 60 km/h gusting to 90. High plus 2."

"Old Man Spring? Calgary's storm closes schools, cancels flights"

"Schools in the city are open, but buses have been delayed."

Bullshit contradiction right there ... Calgary's storm has actually closed out of town schools ... but whatever. I didn't mind driving around the idiot that parked IN THE MIDDLE of the street today to take his kids in to the school ... didn't mind risking my little micro-machine getting stuck in the snow at all. Idiot! But again, whatever.

what we were faced with when we left the house this morning:

what my back yard looks like, present tense. Let me reiterate - this is NOT a blog un-published from December, this is today, April 29:

And I'll let you take a guess at what this is:

Are you done yet?  ..... No, it's not just the snow. It's not just the outside of my garage door....

It's where I just fucking fell. Flat on my ass. As I pranced from my house to the garage because I was desperate for another coffee and ran out of cream at home. I can hear the wind blowing shit off my house, I can see the blizzard like conditions, but I just needed that damn coffee. And now, I need an ice pack. My back is getting sorer by the minute. And graceful I am not. I didn't go down lightly or in the fluffy snow that is fun to fall in. I went down like a sack of potatos right on the farkin cement. But I guess it serves me right from prancing in the snow anyway when I should have been holding on for dear life, but come on ... I've lived here my whole life, I should know how to maneuver in this crap. I'm starting to believe that I really am a masochist.


  1. Oh gosh, I hope you're OK! And because I'm nice and all I won't tell you about my 87 degrees Farenheit. In case you use Celcius, I won't tell you that it converts to 30.56 degrees Celcius. You're welcome.

  2. It is snowing here today as well and it totally sucks ass! I am so tired of the damn snow.

  3. I thought that looked like a slip and fall. I also woke up to a good bit of snow, but being Colorado, it was melted away by 11 am :)

  4. wow! hope your okay! and that is nuts y'all still have winter...yuck!! if I could send some of this 80 degree weather to you I totally would! :)

  5. Ugh, I was mad because it got down to 51 here last night. Damn, I guess I should be happy about all that! Sorry about falling on your butt :)

  6. Sorry bout the tumble....hope it is not to bad.

    I hope you realize that I am biting my tongue and chewing my fingernails, to not say anything more.*snicker*

    cause between this post and the last one there is all sorts of opportunities to stick my foot in my mouth... ROFL

    So I won't offer any more human kindness than this. LMBO

    Praying it don't bruise or leave a mark!!!!and if you hadn't of had the wax job there would of been a tiny bit more kush for the tush.

    Just saying!!!!

    You will have to get T-Bone to
    Kiss the Bo, Bo
    Or rub it for you.....
    wheeze,snort, gasp.....holding sides,,, snorkle,gulp, hiccup.......BBBaaaaaHHHAAAAAAAaaa

    (sorry couldn't help myself)

    really do hope you are all right.....

  7. I'm fine all .. thanks for your concern ;) Am laughing A LITTLE Mr Daddy. Not only was I missing some cushion for the fall .... I was missing a layer! I guess I needed that hair for ... uh ... warmth! Stoopid girl.