Monday, April 12, 2010

Monday Minute .... finally, some sex talk .....

Well I already blogged today, and it's pretty rare that I blog twice in one week let alone twice in one day, but I saw S-E-X and meme and I figured I'd give it a go. I've also been on the hunt for some new blog readin material. Not that I don't like reading "mommy blogs" but I started my own blog for me, and I am more than just a mom. I am a foul-mouthed working woman who likes drinking, smoking, gambling, and sex. I'm broadening my blog reading horizons and hearing about today's Daily Dose of Reality meme came literally 15 minutes after I started following a blog about a closet nymphomaniac. Coincidence? I started reading it, but I'm at work and no good can come of gettin all hot n bothered while sitting at my desk, a bus/car commute away from T-Bone, who's probably still sleeping naked in my bed. So I closed the blog and am looking pretty forward to 10pm tonight ... Now back to my meme mission. I'm linking up with Ian over at Daily Dose of Reality for Monday Minute and the questions left to be answered are about sex. I'll be as truthful as I can, or at least try to be. I'm allowed to do what I want with the questions .. Ian said so ....

Monday Minute

At what age did you lose your virginity?

Young, very young, but I loved the boy I did it with, I wasn't being slutty .... yet. And it wasn't under someone's pool table after a party or in a park or anything like that. It was our version of romantic, we had a bath together and everything, romantic! And after allllll these years of bumpin uglies, I still believe he is who I was supposed to lose my big V to. He was my very first love and I think it was real. I felt it every time he came back for me ... the last time being when Sydnerella was 5. So yeah .... pretty real. We plan on getting back together in approximately 15 years ... then books will be written and movies produced about how two junior high school sweethearts found their way back to each other after 30 years, or whatever, I didn't do the math. We touch base about once a year to make sure our plan's still on schedule.

Any good sex tips or advice?

Fuck me badly one, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me. Okay, so it's not me that said this, it's Samantha from Sex and the City, but it's still great advice. Unfortunately, I've been in the situation where I haven't heeded that advice ... I have my reasons though ... and nobody said I have elaborate.

Lights on or off when you have sex?

With T-Bone it doesn't matter, with the others ... lights off. Okay, well there aren't any others now, but I was pretty shy and lacking in self-confidence before T-Bone. I had a small handful of randoms between my baby daddy and him, and the lights were always off. But the first time I was with T-Bone, I grabbed the sheet to cover up when I got out of bed and he told to fucking drop it ... there'd be none of that! He meant it. I dropped the sheet and haven't been allowed to cover up since. Now, I want him to see what he's getting when I'm bent over he's umm, behind me ... apparently, it's a pretty good view. So I've been told anyway ... after almost three years of doing the nasty, he's kinda obligated to stay stuff like that though isn't he?

Have you ever been caught in the act of having sex?

Does anyone want to hear the full story of when my baby-daddy's mom came stumbling in on us, drunk as a skunk, sat on the bed, and tried to have a full conversation with us? Or is that enough information to get the entire picture and mortification of that night? (yes, mortification's a word .. I it)

Ever catch your parents (or kids) having sex?

Well I'd be locked up in jail right now for ripping a penis off someone if I had ever caught my kid. And No, I've never walked in on my parents. They split when I was 4, but it's tragic enough that I remember a neighbour asking my step-mom what my dad's penis tatoo says ... I was 9. That's just not fair ... I still can't look him straight in the eye at that was 21 years ago.

That was fun, thanks Ian. And thanks Aunt Crazy, for the link.


  1. Thanks for linking on up. I enjoyed reading the answers and if you are looking for shit that ain't mommy blog related I suggest to stop by for some more. Fuck, that was the longest run on sentence of all time but you get the idea. ;)

  2. That is freaking hilarious! Your dad has a penis tatto??? Woah!

  3. penis tattoo? OUCH!!!!!!!!!
    and I totally wanna hear the WHOLE story of being walked in on by drunk momma!!

  4. So is blogging twice in a day anything like making it two or three times in a day?????

    And you will have to go back and go over our blog with a fine tooth comb to figure out which one I need to know about....LOL

  5. LOL I love this. I was too chicken to post mine, so I answered in his comments. HE even double dog dared me to. LOL

    Seriously, a neighbor asked your SM what your dad's penis tattoo said? *shudder*

  6. dammit ... where's my comb?

    LMAO Kmama, you call tell by the answers of some who was a little 'shy' ... I was going to hold back a little ... but, nevermind, I wasn't, I specifically went looking for something raunchy to add to my blog to spice it up a little, hahahaha.

    I can't comment about the tatoo, sorry guys ... it's too disturbing ... but I will say, THANK GOD I've never seen it ... sheesh

  7. I am beside myself with laughter (and if you knew about my kangaroo pouch of a belly and how it lays beside me in bed you'd know I am serious). Might have to steal these questions and answer them myself tomorrow--can I? People only read my blog if it has something to do with S-E-X.