In the 2 years that my company has been in this building, I have been ordering turkey bacon club wraps from one of the lunch places on the second floor. The wraps are great, but most of all, I like the scenery while standing in line .... I developed my crush immediately. Dark, messy hair, soft spoken, HOT! I have never maintained a conversation lasting over 2 minutes with the guy, but everyday that I'm dressed & feeling my best, that's where I head to pick up my lunch (albeit this is not often) but again, it has only been 2 years. Today, I'm feeling particulary good, not because I look particularly good, but because my company Christmas party is tomorrow and I'm getting sexified ... er, excited. Aside from a battle I am having with an ingrown hair, everything seems to be falling into place .... my breasts into a great push up bra and an altered dress, my hips and ass(ets) into a body shaper, my spider veins into a pair of sheer black pantyhose, and my oddly narrow and long feet into a pair of heels that I almost twinge at the thought of the pain they will eventually inflict. All this coupled with the purchase of blush, liquid eye liner, and even a negligee (you must be wondering what kind of party this is .. ) has given me a womanly feel these last few days .... yes, I'm feeling particularly good. As the noon hour passes, I head to the place where I can order my usual. I begin to act my usual, as usual, which is no eye contact, a barely-there smirk, then quickly ends with " .... and olives on the side!" But as I rounded the corner to retrieve my order, I see a photocpy of a news paper article praising the sandwhich place and mentioning a second location (which I had actually learned about during my first conversation with my crush about 1 year ago). Perfect. A conversation piece. As my wrap is being prepped, I smiled big and piped up "wow, that must make you feel good!" (wtf?) He smiled and said, "Yep, I'm famous!" Really, that should have been MY line ... but I'm lame. I replied with an even bigger smile "YES YOU ARE!" Wink! Ok, no wink, but I was thinking about it. So we exchange a few words, then are interrupted by someone wanting to introduce him to customers. This is the part where my smile has now tripled in size compared to what he's probably ever seen (it's not because I'm a bitch or snob, or anything like that ... I am serious when I say I'm lame. I'm shy and nervous and awkward) ... ok, so back to my favorite of the 2 things I learned about my crush today .... His name is Rob! Anyone that knows me, knows that I think Rob is the sexiest of all sexy names. Well ... a dark messy haired, soft spoken hottie with the name Rob ... why don't you just kill me now! Or get out of my way .... I'm on a mission. I pondered this new discovery while he chatted with the customer, then turned his attention back to me. Well maybe not me so much as my wrap that is now smoking under the grill .... we chat it up a few more minutes. This is also a first, since I am already holding the wrap ... which at this point in the past, I would have already bolted thinking that by doing that gives him more reason to look at my ass(ets) which probably leaves him wondering when I'll be back ...right?? Anyway, the conversation had quickly turned to the discussion of weekend plans ... perfect ... "Yes, in fact, I'm spending the 2nd half of my weekend wearing my negligee in bed (with you) in the castle in the mountains after attending Christmas party all womanly sexified". My least fond discovery of my crush came right about then ... in telling me that he had attended a party at the same castle with "the Wife!" This left me with 2 assumptions ... 1) "The" Wife means A wife, just not HIS wife. 2) "The" Wife was his wife ... that he's since left in his dust. Either way, I decided it didn't matter. It took 2 years to get to this point in our relationship and it went a little faster than I was comfortable with anyway. I ceased all eye contact immediately, told Rob to have a good weekend and walked away, deciding this view of me was probably what he was going for when he mentioned The Wife!