My kid started an argument with me last night. Last night was Sunday and she wanted her friend to spend the night. Being that it was a school night, I said NO. Well, you all know what happens when you say no to your kids ... they morph into evil little witch women. I don't know what happens to boys when you say no to them, I've never really heard any stories but I know all too well what happens to a hormonal pre-teen girl when you say NO. Driving a vehicle at those times becomes dangerous ... to yourself, to them, to others on the road. And I don't know if it's against the law to leave 12 year olds on the side of busy roads in the dark, but I imagine you get some sort of a tongue lashing from the police when they bring the kid back ... or you have deal with child protective services dropping in every now and then to make sure the kid isn't being kept in a box under the stairs. At any rate, I was in a rush to get home to watch the highlights of Big Brother, and pulling the car over to make the kid get out would have caused me to miss seeing Chima getting taken out of the house by the producers for destroying big brother property. I decided, in haste, to take part in the argument. She was arguing anyway, whether or not I was talking back. I guess I should probably explain why she thought I would say YES in the first place when she asked if a school friend could sleepover on a school night ... and this is a lesson to you all .... when you are on the 19th hole of a golf course and have just thrown back 6, YES 6, drinks and your kid calls asking for ANYTHING at all, get out of the conversation as fast as possible. Hang up the phone and call for back up. No matter who it is, get someone who doesn't compensate for their less than par golf skills by sitting in the cart with a pack of menthols and a 6 pack of beer cursing the t's, clubs, team-mates, beer cart lady, others on the golf course that aren't keeping up with your drinking games, someone else .... but at all costs, do not take part in that conversation. Because of my (drunken) generosity the night of the golf tournament, I had been pegged as a pushover (that along with many other battles surrendered over the years I'm sure, but we're not talkin' 'bout that ...) and my daughter thought this was a fight worth fighting. So did I. Unsure of whether or not she would make the rest of my night a living hell, I dropped the evil little witch woman off her friends for 30 mins of catching up on the latest gossip, the newest hottie of the school, all that stuff that is ever-so-important to the girls of junior high, and rushed to my couch to watch the highlights of big brother in silence. When I picked my kid up, she fought harder for her cause than I'd ever heard her fight (well probably not, but you get the point ....). For a 1 block lengthed conversation on our cell phones, she begged and pleaded, and made offers I've never heard her make in her life (and knew she would never keep). No way out of the heated debate, or to make the begging & pleading stop, and not wanting to waste another second of commercial time at the last part of big brother, I demanded she get out to the car alone and hung up. As I waited for her to surrender, I thought sure as shit I'd be in for one hell of an argument ... probably the battle of the year in which I would always look back and think that it really wasn't worth the fight in the first place. I was, however, very surprised. The evil little witch woman had surrendered. After 1 slam of the car door, she retreated. Almost in a way that terrified me ... like she was silently planning an attack in the dark if night. Her ambush never came though, the dust had settled. We enjoyed the last few minutes of big brother (and we both agreed that Kevin, and all his gayness, would win the half a mil this coming Tuesday) and she was eager to hear my advice on how she can make her hair puff up on the back without using 3 quarters of a bottle of hair spray. Bedtime came around, and yes, the fight was definitely over .... I got a hug, an I love you, the whole bit. I had won!!! Did I win?! Am I wrong to feel at ease? Is it naive of me to feel confident that I had in fact defeated the evil little witch woman without any bloodshed or visits from child protective services? Or should I be preparing my troops for an ambush? I think our troops should always be prepared, but I think this battle has been put to bed. Week 38 (2009) = mom 1, kid 0.