Friday, October 16, 2009

Dear office cleaners

It's Friday, which means I'm typing up a guick n dirty addition to Foursons

Letters of Intent

Dear office cleaners,

Thank you. Thank you for leaving all 3 kitchen garbage’s full overnight after a big office move. It was a pleasant way to start the day ... the putrid smell of mold and rot wafting through the air as I tried to get my first cup of coffee of the day. I should also thank the people that just moved out of the building for leaving such filth in fridge to begin with. I'm sorry, but if you think that getting away from your families each and everyday to come work in a fancy schmancy office downtown is cause to turn into a pig because you don't get paid to clean up after your own damn self, then I'd like to add you to my face smackin list. I'd also like to thank (and smack) those that continually leave their dishes in the sink right below the sign that reads: PLEASE PUT YOUR DISHES IN THE DISHWASHER. Now I know you are not blind because I see you gettin around all right. And I know you’re not stupid because you most likely have some post secondary education that landed you your kick ass job. So what the fuck is your problem? Ignant maybe? ... Probably. I don't even know who you are. You are ignant! And sneaky! Well office cleaners, I'm going to check the other kitchen and if there's rotting left over’s still in those garbage’s from yesterday, I'm going to stay late, wait for you ... and if you're doing what I suspect you're doing when you should be cleaning the offices on your shift ... like watching the flat screen or playing cards in the employee lounge (jealous much? well change jobs!) or rummaging through others' belongings and stealing their fruit, I'm gonna kick your ass. Well, ok ... I don't care so much that I'd stay at work any longer than I need to on a Friday just to kick your ass (and really, I've never been in a fist fight in my life and even though I've never seen you, I'd put money on it that you can probably take me donw ... quickly ..) but is it too much to ask you change the garbage’s when they smell? Watch the damn TV, take the banana, hell ...even ignore the garbage’s that are full of paper type stuff ... just please take away the stuff that has the crawlies on it, the furry stuff, the stuff that is oozing black ...

The girl who just wants to get a cup of coffee in the morning without smelling someone's 2 week ago lunch,


  1. Sorry! Can't complain because our sweet janitor is a doll. In fact, she came in early yesterday and spent some time playing with the boss' little girl so she wouldn't be bored out of her brain.

    But smelly garbage... YUCK. Does the boss do anything about it?

    About your comment... yes, I've gone to work many times sick too. But not unless I know I'm not contagious, and when there's something that desperately needs to be done. It's a crapshoot, eh?

  2. eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww I bet you could kick their ignant ass...LOL Those ignorant rat bastards...LMAO!!!

  3. "face smackin' list..." I'm gonna remember that! Sorry 'bout the smell... I don't work in an office but I do live with three males, so I totally hear you! Hope your office cleaners clean up their act (pardon the bad pun) really soon!

  4. Oh, goodness. I would say leave a huge mess for them like all over the floor, but it would probably still be there in the morning from the sound of the way they work! That does suck.

  5. I'm with Julie...the "face smackin' list..." is hilarious. I think I'd be vomiting in those trash bags if I had to smell them. I can't stand bad smells and they are known to send me over the edge. I wonder what they were really doing instead of cleaning last night? Hmmmm....

    Thanks for linking up, love your letter!

  6. Oh ew, I hate the smell of rotting trash.

    My husband loves to wait until the very last minute to takes ours out and sometimes the smell is horrid. I usually end up taking it out myself.

    Actually, this letter could have been written to my husband. He also doesn't put his dishes in the dishwasher. He loves to leave them on the counter..