Friday, October 9, 2009

TRY A T-BONE

I wasn't quite sure how I was going to tie this one into Letters of Intent, but I wanted to share it because it made me laugh. It's T-Bone's reply to having stumbled upon my blog yesterday (a blog that he didn't know existed) .... Happy Friday.


Letters of Intent



Dear Self,


Always, always remember to sign out of blogger when you leave the house ... especially if there's a chance T-Bone will be stopping by. You know that when he's left alone, he heads straight to the computer to play poker and look at porn. And didn't you learn your lesson that one time when you answered your cell phone in the doctors office and the whole waiting room heard through the phone "How'd ya get a UTI?" ..... Yeeah, it's the little X at the top right hand corner of the screen ... Now quit laughing and/or shaking you head, and set the man up with his own damn blog. And save this as a reminder because it's the second closest thing you've ever gotten to a love letter .... (oh, and add some links in there while you're at it)




dont no quite how start,but am sure something will cum 2 me.cant type very well(took 4 mnts) but trying hard.dont know if this is invasion of privacy,but is o.k because stacy likes me,sometimes.here are some of my  views on life in general.religion,if we didnt have it,the world would be at peace.girlfriends,are happy 75% of time.wives 25%(kidding 35%)men100% when sleeping.otherwise % drops as nagging starts.driving-if u get behind a honda,switch lanes ,otherwise makes for long commute.shoulder checking-its not just a move in hockey.the metis nation-75%crooks,24% petty crooks.sex-i am not a maschine,of course u enjoy it,u don't have 2 do anything.still pretty freaking fun.plaggerism-jeebus,is my word,and i dont remember anybody asking permission to use it.hashbrowns-take it easy on the salt.poker-use a steele desk,wood breaks too easily.making love-boring.women i dont know-i'm not a piece of meat(if i was i would be filet mingon)to be fondled and stared at with obviuos intetions of being eaten slowly and succulently.tactless and uncouthe.stacy dosnt apprecciate it either,but is the price that must be paid.THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS!-my team.if they win stacy gets some.by the way the season has started,might be a lonley year in woodsville.CAPS LOCK-just dicoverd it.SPELING-overated.LESBIANS-the 1 i know is really cool,the ones on youporn seem pretty nice too.JON&KATE-2 VERY STUPID PEOPLE.kids dont stand much of a chance,but who the hell knows.SEX TOYS-fun for all concerned.2 be used in moderation.DRUGS-fun for all concerned.2 be used in moderation.COOKING-when something is made out of love for u by someone else,dont complain about what the kitchen looks like,instead say thank-u and start cleaning up the battlefield.MORNINGS-used to not mind them.since i met stacy,am very scared when sun comes up.jeckyll&hyde shit.TERELL OWENS,MIKE VICK,PLAXICO BURRIS-maybe highschools and colleges should actually provide thier athletes with an education ,rather then give a free ride to anyone who can run fast.it must be pretty hard to run in a 8 by 10 jail cell.poor bastards cant even read to pass the time.HANDJOBS-the forgotten art.BLOWJOBS-yes please.THE HUNGER GAMES-best novel i've read in a while.THE "C" BOMB-should be used with caution.applied to those of extreme prejudice or inaminate objects.CATS-only love u when thier hunggee(see plagerism).CHEATING-if u feel the need to check your spouses cell phone,e-mail or whereabouts,all trust has been lost and they probably are cheating.why cheat anyway,just leave,its easyier on all concerned.thier is nothing to understand.OTHER PEOPLES MINOR INJURIES-stubbing toes on coffee tables,walking into doors or walls,tripping on curbs,or my all time favorite falling over stinking drunk  are very funny when they happen to other people.MY WOMEN-1in 100000000000000000.am very blessed man.GOOD-BYE.                





Well Stacy, you can't be that mad at yourself for leaving blogger open, there is some (sweet) genuine T-Bone in there. What you might want to do when helping T-Bone set up a blogger account is show him spell-check and teach him how to use the shift key. Or not. And when blogging from now on, always assume that one day, he'll stumble upon it again and read everything. So you might want not want to write blogs about your faux-husband or your office boyfriend eye candy just in case.



Sincerely,
Stacy                                                                                                                                         

6 comments:

  1. Bahahahahaha! You turned this into the PERFECT letter!

    I was laughing all the way through your hubby's rambling. Too funny and so much of it is such a guy's perspective on things. I especially loved the messy kitchen after cooking comment. HA! If he only knew he didn't need to dirty EVERY SINGLE pan in the kitchen when he cooked and that he could clean as he went along then that "LOVE" might come freely.

    Thanks for linking up- LOVED this letter!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah Stace...When I got to work today? Too funny that you wrote this. I realized I may have left myself logged in when I left the house--on my SON'S laptop...FML!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awwww... seriously - that is a frameworthy love letter! Love his play-by-play and please, please, keep him away from my husband. Their combined forces would be too much for womankind! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's hilarious! At least he was interested enough to read your blog. My husband knows of mine but has yet to visit it!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You know...my Hubby hasn't found mine yet, I don't think! He knows I 'blog' but he never comments on having visited.
    I sort of agree with your hubby's comment re 'CHEATING-if u feel the need to check your spouses cell phone,e-mail or whereabouts,all trust has been lost and they probably are cheating.' Can I ask you to ask your hubby this....if you just read them (any correspondence or such), perchance let's say, by accident and not because you think they are cheating, I mean because you like, STUMBLE' on something.....that's not the same kind of thing is it? I mean, that's just being a curious, inquisitive sticky beak right?
    I do believe though....you shouldn't get grumpy if you find things you're not happy reading/seeing, if you go searching. {There will always be exceptions to the rule though} If you're going to seek, be prepared for what you MIGHT find! It might not always be easy to read!
    God help it if the person I'm writing to somehow ends up at MY blog....oh to see the look on her face....it would be PRICELESS :0)

    Thanks for sharing this very smile worthy post :0)

    Cheers
    Jewelz

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nice to meet you T-bone, when are you gonna bring my girl to Texas to visit and to introduce yourself to me???

    ReplyDelete